Dear Diary

On the point of sounding desperate, the truth I guess at any point would still remain to be the same... I guess.

I met this girl some years back and the sweet fragrance of her soul left me misty eyed and longing for more of that sweetness like an addict looking for his next high.

She made me really look at myself, not at what you see in a mirror but the stuff that I am made of; my values, my morals, my priorities. For the first time in my life I looked around me through someone elses point of view, something that I never even thought existed. The cosy niche that I had created for myself didnt look so cosy after all. The so called values that I had was next-to-nothing when I measured my six feet plus height against her petite five feet two. I had always believed in "Live & let live" but having met her, the meaning of those words has redefined for me.

I was a piece of driftwood being thrown around in the arms of the ocean and she lifted me and carved me into a creature of beauty in my eyes as well as in the eyes of others. Had she not walked into my life, like the first cool breeze on a spring morning, I'm sure that one day the salt water would have seeped into the fibres of the driftwood and I'd have sunk to the bottom of the dark deep sea. She was like the thaw after a winter blizzard. She was there every time when I tripped, fell down, or just plain needed support to take my next step. All this she did with the goodness of her heart. The light of her soul lifted her up in my eyes. This new world she showed to me, I wanted to learn, I needed to know, even if it were just only to have a glimpse of what she sees. And there my journey began.

The dedication that I showed to find my answers, I had never had that kind of focused attention on one subject, even when I was a student doing my majors in my favourite field. The world that she set before me was sweeter than honey and more rewarding than any that I had ever known or heard. She became my beacon in my darkest hour. All this she did with the patient kindness of her heart as a friend. I never can thank her enough for all that she has done for me.

On the same breath, I cant say enough, how much she means to me.... more than a friend. I know, I know, "STOP THAT". But this is the beating of my heart and these words are the songs that are repeated over and over in the rythm of my heartbeat. Thank you for showing me the light. Thank you for waiting till I reached the end of the tunnel. Thank you for being you. I understand that you never felt anything but kindness towards me but I feel more than what a person feels for a beautiful flower. and I believe that what I feel will be enough for the two of us to go on. It is now my turn to hold you up. Let me be that person, left me hold you when you feel you might topple, let me be the person to catch you should you fall, lean on me when you need support.

My sweet Jinni, say "Yes" and make me the worlds richest person by being the center of your attention for now and forever. And should this time, the answer be a "No" as well, dont worry, I'll still be there by your side as your shadow, but stronger than any shadow will ever be. Just say "Yes" and I'll look after you for the rest of your life. I'll hold you close when you go to sleep and I'll be there even when you wake up. I'll kiss away your tears, annoy you like anything, and make up with you afterwards with sweet nothings. I'll bring flowers every single day of our lives and if I can't I'll at least bring home a kiss or two for you. If nothing else, I'll even plant your favourite flowering plant right under our bedroom window so that I may seduce you into smiling with the intoxicating fragrance of its blossoms. I love you...

Yours forever,

Jasmine